Yoga is changing my life....

....and I meant to start writing about this when I went to my first class because it was so powerful, but everything got in the way and I was working a million nightshifts and I kept putting it off. Now it's a month later, and I think I need to start at the beginning....

February 27, 2012.

I had a certain amount of trepidation going to my first Hot Foundation class at Sanguine Yoga. My only other hot yoga experience was at a Bikram studio in Toronto and I came away from that class extremely intimidated and discouraged, so I was expecting something similar and had a hard time relaxing before the class started. I signed up for an unlimited 39$ month and thought "well, at least I don't have to keep going if it doesn't work out/work into my schedule/make me feel good/insert excuse here."

That first class changed my life.

"All you have to do is show up," said the instructor. "Even if you just sit on your mat the entire class, you made it in the door." And I thought "Hey, I can do that! Even after a 12 hour shift, I can show up and sit on the mat."

I busted myself that class. I was shaking and dripping at the end, but I managed to pull off most of the poses, and more importantly--I felt good doing them. The language was easy, I could "see" my body where the instructor was leading it and I didn't need to look around at other people to know when my form was good. The pace was perfect and the overwhelming feeling in the entire class was so positive. My heart was very open the entire time, which hasn't been happening for me lately.

And at the end of the class, resting on my mat, I started to cry. It came from a deep place, a well of unhappiness--not with my work, or my relationship, or my living situation, but with ME. My body in particular, my goals and dreams off track because of my body. I am limited by my weight, limited by the lack of fitness in my life, and the overwhelming sadness and poor self esteem that comes from this. The lack of energy, the self-loathing whenever I sabotage a good fitness routine. It comes from me, and I had been letting it win, over and over again. It is ruining my health and happiness. I take it out on my husband, I allow it to wall me off, I carry a chip on my shoulder because of it.

After that first hot class, for the first time since I was my "skinny" self back in Europe, ten years ago, I felt like I was winning. That is what yoga gave me.

So this will be a continuing journey. I went to 7 classes this month, which isn't as many as I'd have liked, but I kept going. I went after day shifts and after night shifts. I went in the morning and in the afternoon. I went late at night. Sometimes I sat on my mat more than others--but that's happening less and less. And I am feeling different. Positive. Alive. Energetic.

So now I'm a member--I'm in. I ordered a mat and towel from Jade Yoga. Expensive, but worth it. I have a self confidence I can practice in my basement. It's priceless, and I am on my way!


Sobeys "Baby Be Friendly" program is exactly the opposite of Baby Friendly!

Dear Sobey's,

As a regular customer at Sobey's, I've generally been happy with your food quality and the great variety of products in your stores across Canada.

Today, however, I received a troubling Facebook advertisement for your "Baby Be Friendly" promotional program. Scrolling through the comments about the program, I noticed that you are giving out free formula samples as part of this program.

As an RN working in Labour and Delivery and a breastfeeding advocate in general, I find this line of promotion to be very unethical. In fact, it directly contradicts the WHO International Code of Marketing of Breast-milk substitutes (accessible here:http://www.who.int/nutrition/publications/infantfeeding/9241541601/en/index.html) which states "there should be no point-of-sale advertising, giving of samples, or any other promotion device to induce sales directly to the consumer at the retail level" (WHO Int. Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes, 1981, pg 17).

Giving samples of infant formula to mothers who may not have access to proper education regarding the importance of exclusive breastfeeding, especially to the 6 month mark, can severely undermine a mother's confidence in her own ability to feed her baby and create problems early in the breastfeeding relationship. There is in-depth recent research which suggests that we should not only be teaching mothers of the benefits of breastfeeding (health and social, for both mother and baby) but should be teaching them the quantifiable risks associated with formula feeding--higher rates of diabetes, and increased risk of allergies among the most common.

Your corporation is in a position to create a precedent in Canada in terms of creating early education to pregnant mothers. I urge you to alter your Baby Be Friendly program to include relevant, current research on the importance of breastfeeding and perhaps even access to local community supports such as Lactation Consultants and La Leche League peer support groups instead of (or at least in addition to) giving away sample packages of infant formula under the misleading term "Baby Friendly."



Well, it's a start!

Yesterday I had a few things planned--and I think I got through about half of them, which is a start right? I didn't make it to the gym or rollerskating, but I did clean house, do laundry, and put up our curtains (finally, three months later!)--I also made a huge pot of soup! So I'm good. I'm not shooting for 100% yet, just a change from what I was achieving before--which felt like basically nothing.

This morning I was up before 8 (getting up early on days off is a real struggle for me, but if I don't it ensures a screwy sleeping pattern...) and had a real breakfast. Not just coffee!

In other news, I ordered some "carb blockers" from Amway and have started taking them before meals. We'll see what happens. I'm really considering going gluten free for 3 months or so to see what changes.


I'm going to try some new things....

I've been inspired recently by my sister Jenn's blog For The Love of Bikram --chronicling her self-challenge with Bikram Yoga. I read it and I think "I would love to do something like this!" and "I should be more active." I think "I should get out more," and "I need to be more disciplined."

I think a lot. More than I do, really. I am fantastic at imagining how well I will do something, how good I'll feel when I hit my goal, how happy I'll be when all my hard work pays off. I sometimes stay in bed longer than I need to, imagining it all.

Well screw that. I'm going to start doing things, I've decided. Yesterday, I started by starting to Geocache with my sister Jill. Randomly, unplanned. It was a rush of a totally different kind when we uncovered a little tiny log book rolled up inside a very clever fake piece of pipe. I was tired from working the night before, but I dragged my butt out of bed. Afterwards, I went to see a movie with my uncle. And this morning, after seeing the Muppets with Caanan, we went looking for another Geocache (didn't find this one, apparently you need to be a squirrel--but the chase was fun!) and we just enjoyed being outside.

Tomorrow? My first rollerskating endeavor. I have all the gear--for so many things--I just need to start using it.